Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I can read

What are the coolest new smart home gadgets to upgrade your living space?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why is that Hag Hillary Clinton so quiet these days? She is the dog that isn't barking

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

If you get a chance to have sex with either Kajal Agarwal or Samantha, who would you choose and why?

I see through liars

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What made you stop being an addict?

I have complete contempt for fakery

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Mysterious fast radio bursts help astronomers pinpoint cosmic ‘missing’ matter - CNN

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

What made you feel disgusted today?

I can count

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why do men date women they are not really interested in?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Trump is going to target known criminals in the country illegally for deportation. The Democrats have vowed to fight him every step of the way. Don't they understand this is one of the issues that cost them the white house, the house and senate?

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t cotton to rapists

What, when building a house, are the necessary wires (beside 120v) to future proof my house, Cat6, Coax, low voltage, and alarm wires?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Some men love anal sex more than vaginal sex. Why?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for traitorism

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Which unexpected celebrity has done a bold or revealing photoshoot?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why did my bipolar girlfriend split up with me?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t buy bullshit

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What is a common thought that keeps people up at night? Why do some people experience this?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Do you like wearing short skirts?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP